


Useless Lesbian Heda

by Superwayhaught100



Series: ClexaWeek2019 [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anya Lives, Clexa Week 2019, Day 1 Useless Lesbian, F/F, Fluff and Humor, OOC Lexa, Useless Lesbian Lexa (The 100), ooc Anya
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-06 06:56:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17934986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superwayhaught100/pseuds/Superwayhaught100
Summary: Heda has a type. Unfortunately for her, Clarke is exactly that. Too bad she can't figure out how to talk to her without making a fool of herself.Told from Lexa's POV, including her internal dialogue. In canon-verse with the help of incorrect-clexa-quotes on tumblr.





	1. They meet

**Author's Note:**

> https://incorrect-clexa.tumblr.com/ was kind enough to give me permission to use some of the quotes she has collected for this. Lexa and Anya are most definitely out of character and the plot loosely follows canon. Finn hasn't become a mass murderer since I'm trying to keep this light while still somewhat following the plot.

                Lexa had no idea why Anya seemed to be so looking forward to her meeting with the leader of the Sky People. Her former mentor was almost giddy. Lexa understood that this girl could already be considered a force to be reckoned with as she is the first person ever to escape the Mountain, not only that but also saved Anya along with herself. Still, Lexa knew the Sky People still had a lot to answer for.

                Lexa twirled her knife around as she organized her thoughts. It wasn’t long until it was announced that the Sky leader had arrived. Lexa indicated that she be allowed to enter, and the Commander could hear Gustus threaten her. The tent flap was moved to the side and in came the most beautiful goddess that Lexa has ever seen. _Fuck, she’s pretty, damnit Anya!_ Lexa took a moment to look down at her blade, _You are Heda, you are stealthy and sharp like a knife,_ she repeated to herself before looking up. Stabbing the knife into the arm of her throne she did her best to look intimidating. “You are the one that burned 300 of my warriors alive.” Lexa saw the blonde take a steadying breath.

                “You are the one that sent them there to kill us” the Sky leader responded.

                _Hot and quick, I’m in trouble._ “What is it that I can do for you Clarke of the Sky People?”

                “If we have a truce, I can help you beat the Mountain Men,” Clarke told her.

                “Ridiculous! Let me kill her now!” Indra growled stepping forward.

                Lexa just put her hand up, stopping the general in her tracks.

                “Why should I believe you?” Lexa asked.

                “The Mountain Men have been taking your people and draining them of their blood or turning them into Reapers. I can turn them back,” Clarke stated causing an uproar in the tent.

                “Lies! That is impossible!” Indra said, pulling her sword out of the scabbard.

                “It’s true! I’ve done it for Lincoln!” Clarke yelled above the commotion.

                “Enough!” Lexa roared over the noise. She stared directly into blue eyes. “Take me to Lincoln, if he is indeed healed, you will have your truce.”

                Clarke nodded in agreement.

∞∞∞∞

                Lexa was following behind the blonde leader admiring the view while doing her best to keep her stoic façade in place.

                Anya came up beside her and smirked. “So, what do you think of Clarke?”

                Lexa frowned. “She seems like a very capable leader. If she really cured a Reaper, then she would make a great ally.”

                “Mmhm, an _ally_ ,” Anya said, smirk still firmly in place.

                “As much fun as this is, why don’t you just tell me what is on your mind, Anya,” Lexa sneered at her, perfectly aware of what was likely to come out of her former mentor’s mouth.

                “Well, she is fierce, smart, and hot, therefore exactly your type,” Anya replied smugly.

                Lexa looked at her sharply, holding back a retort that would cause attention to be drawn to them. Looking forward again, Lexa couldn’t stop her eyes from appreciating the curvy backside of the Sky leader. Still, she huffed and responded, “I will have you know, I have high standards.”

                Clarke turned to make sure they were still following her and gave her a soft smile.

                “Oh, no, she’s meeting all of my standards,” Lexa groaned.

                Anya laughed. “Mmhm.”

                Lexa reacted instantly, punching Anya in the shoulder, causing the taller woman to stumble. She smiled smugly at her mentor and kept walking.

                Before long the big metal structure that the Sky People called the Dropship came into view. The mood turned somber immediately as they started walking through a blackened field of burned skeletons.

                Clarke looked back at them again and Lexa could see the trepidation on her face. As they moved into the structure, Clarke started climbing up a ladder.

                Had they not just walked through a field of her fallen soldiers, Lexa would have taken the time to enjoy the view.

                One of her guards went up the ladder after Clarke and nodded his head that it was safe.

                Lexa quickly climbed the ladder followed closely by the rest of her people. She looked around and saw an older brunette woman shoving Lincoln’s chest and a younger one crouched near them crying. Lincoln, who looked very much dead. She looked sharply at Clarke who was obviously scared.

                “Lies!” Indra roared. “Kill them!”

                Everyone pulled their weapons.

                _Well, damn, I have to kill her now._

                The older brunette had some sort of stick weapon and suddenly plunged it down to connect to Lincoln’s chest.

                The warrior’s body leapt off of the ground, but nothing else happened.

                “Again!” Clarke yelled.

                The older woman hit him again and suddenly he was gasping for air.

                Lexa got closer, fascinated as Lincoln reached out for the crying girl and started speaking weakly, but coherently, not at all like a Reaper. It was amazing. _Well, damn, now I have to work with her. I’m so screwed._ Taking a deep breath, she looked around the room once more before turning her gaze to Clarke. “You have your truce. We will meet tomorrow to start planning for Mount Weather.”

                The blonde smiled brightly and nodded.

                Lexa tripped over air on her way back to the ladder.

                “Heda, are you okay?” one of her guards asked.

                Lexa grunted. “Yes, I hit some skaikru tech, is all.” She could see Anya barely holding back laughter. She scowled at the general and climbed down the ladder.


	2. Chapter 2

                After meeting for a short time to inform the Skaikru what was expected of them, Lexa invited representatives to the ceremony of sending her warriors from the Dropship fire, into the next life by giving the remains of their bodies to the fire. For only reasons of respect, Lexa made sure that Clarke was next to her through the ceremony. She couldn’t help the thrill she felt every time their shoulders brushed.

                After speaking some words of unification and honoring the dead, she couldn’t help but offer the torch to Clarke, who accepted it graciously.

                “Yu gonplei ste odon,” Clarke said lighting the pyre.

                Lexa looked in surprise at the blonde. _Oh fuck, she knows our language and traditions. How was it possible to be this perfect_? She was brought out of her stupor when Anya elbowed her.

                “Heda, would you like to get on your knees and grovel next? Because that is what it looks like you are going to do,” Anya teased quietly.

                She elbowed her former mentor back directly in the solar plexus. “Do try and catch your breath soon, we have a meeting,” Lexa said walking away.

∞∞∞∞

                The meeting consisted of clan leaders and generals that had arrived quickly to TonDC in order to plan the destruction of Mount Weather. Clarke had pulled out a hand drawn map of the inside of the Mountain that had Lexa amazed at the woman’s skill. Unfortunately, many did not trust Clarke. She had been pushing for sending one of her own, Bellamy, into the mountain so that he could somehow take out the acid fog. Whenever Clarke tried to suggest that or anything, she was either spoken over or it was instantly dismissed. Lexa could see the blonde’s patience was running out. She just wanted to hold her and tell her it would be alright. _Fuck, I’m Heda. Be Heda. You are the knife!_

                “What do you suggest, then?” Clarke demanded of Quint, a Trikru general who opposed Clarke the most.

                “I say we take our warriors and charge the Mountain!” Quint answered.

                “And when they release the acid fog when everyone is in range? What then?” Clarke asked.

                He responded with a growl.

                “If we send Bellamy in, he can disable the fog and our forces can actually _get_ to the Mountain without dying,” Clarke claimed looking around to those in the room.

                “We can’t trust Skaikru to get the job done!” Quint yelled.

                Lexa tensed, fully ready to throw herself in front of Clarke if needed. _Wait, what?_

                Clarke stomped up to Quint, getting in his face. “What is your problem?” she demanded.

                “You burned my brother alive,” he sneered, hand on his sword.

                Clarke didn’t back down, much to Lexa’s amazement. “Then he shouldn’t have attacked my ship.”

                Taking a breath to steady the roaring heat that might be attraction. Lexa slammed a hand on the table. “Enough of this! We are getting nowhere. Let’s take a break and regroup with more ideas tomorrow!”

                The group dispersed quickly, Anya included, until the only ones left were Lexa and Clarke.

                “You know we have to get the acid fog down before anything. Sending Bellamy in is the only option,” Clarke said with a slight lilt of plea in her voice.

                Lexa felt like goo as those stunning blue eyes implored her. It took a second for her to remember herself. “Sending Bellamy in is a prayer. He will more than likely be killed as soon as he steps inside.”

                “What other choice do we have?” Clarke yelled.

                Lexa looked at the blonde sharply. “Do you know what your problem is? You’re so hot that no one has ever told you you’re wrong!”

                Clarke looked stunned. Her mouth opened and closed for a few moments before she spoke. “You think I’m hot?”

                _Fuck._ Lexa realized that was indeed what she had said and swore more out loud in Trigedasleng. Trying to save face, she glared at the blonde. “You need to have better ideas tomorrow!” Lexa demanded, before storming out. The whole time she was leaving all she could think was, _oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck._

∞∞∞∞

                On her way back to her tent, Lexa saw Anya look at her and follow her to the tent. She sighed knowing she was in for it. Once through the tent flap, Lexa immediately went to the table where there was a pitcher of wine and a pitcher of water, she chose water.

                Anya entered the tent shortly thereafter. “Well, that was quite the meeting wasn’t it?”

                Lexa just rolled her eyes.

                “What happened after everyone left?” the general asked.

                Lexa sighed and relayed everything.

                “Why don’t you just tell her how you are feeling, cause let’s face it, you do have feelings for her? I have no doubt she wouldn’t be opposed,” Anya suggested.

                “I can’t have these feelings, I’m the Commander!” Lexa growled out.

                Anya just raised an eyebrow at her.

                Lexa frowned. _Fuck, I do have feelings. Who the fuck authorized this?_

                “Maybe just work out what you want to say to her. Write it down, practice in front of a mirror. I don’t know. Something. You need laid,” Anya suggested.

                Lexa scoffed and pointed to the exit. “Out. Now.”

                Anya put her hands up and left.

                Grumbling, Lexa demanded her dinner be brought to her tent and spent the rest of the evening alone.

∞∞∞∞

                The next morning, Lexa worked hard in the training grounds before preparing for the next Mountain meeting. When she was done, Anya was waiting for her in her tent. She sighed and looked at her former mentor. “I wrote Clarke a note telling her how I feel.”

                Anya grinned. “That’s progress!”

                “I tore it up and burned it.”

                Anya nodded. “Well, that’s still progress! Just give it some time Heda. After the Mountain is defeated, she will be all yours.”

                Lexa nodded. “Time to go to the meeting.”

                The both exited the tent and started walking to the meeting area when Lexa stopped. She spied Skaikru nearby. More specifically, Clarke and Bellamy. The two stood pretty close and she didn’t like it at all. Then, a floppy haired boy joined the mix. He got way to close to the blonde for Lexa’s liking.

                “You are being really quiet, Heda,” Anya remarked.

                Lexa grit her teeth while trying to kill the boy with her eyes. “No one plans a murder out loud,” she sneered through gritted teeth.

               


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another bad meeting. Pauna.

                Once again, the meeting turned into a shouting match with no real proposals put forth. Lexa was getting increasingly frustrated. Quint was still nothing but hostile towards Clarke and it seemed he was starting to gain some support. It was getting them nowhere. Looking around the room, Lexa had had enough. “This is getting us nowhere!” she yelled over the noise, causing everyone to quiet down and look at her. “If we cannot work together the Mountain will just continue to take our people and we will be right where we started. Skaikru tech and their knowledge of the Mountain’s is the first time we have an advantage in 100 years! We will take a break for an hour’s time. When you get back, leave your attitudes at the door or don’t come in because you are no use to us if all you want to do is fight in here rather than truly help our people,” she said glaring at everyone. “You are dismissed.”

                The room emptied out quickly. Lexa saw Clarke sigh. “I need some air,” the blonde proclaimed before following the group out.

                Anya came to stand next to Lexa. “I don’t know if this is going to work, Heda.”

                The brunette sighed. “We will have to make it work. I’m going to go for a walk to clear my head.”

                Anya smirked at her. “Sure, clear your head. Accidently run into Clarke as she is getting some air. I’m sure it is just coincidence.”

                Lexa rolled her eyes and didn’t bother to respond.

∞∞∞∞

                Anya ended up following Lexa on her walk. Her former mentor quit her teasing after Lexa tripped her and made sure to shove her face into the dirt after she fell. Lexa had been lost in her thoughts when a commotion brought her back to the present. She looked up to find Quint on top of Clarke choking her. _Oh, this bitch_. Lexa pulled a dagger just as Quint raised his own. She threw with complete accuracy, her knife lodging itself in his arm, making him drop his dagger and roll off the blonde. Lexa was immediately on top of him, pulling her knife out of his arm. “Attack her and you attack me, Quint,” Lexa sneered at the man. She looked Clarke up and down, totally not lingering on her lips or boobs, checking for injury.

                “Thank you,” Clarke said breathlessly.

                “Where is your guard?” Lexa asked, contemplating killing the guard herself for not doing her job.

                “He killed her,” Clarke informed her.

                “I did no such thing! My fight is with her and only her!” Quint yelled.

                Lexa glared at him. “ _You_ r fight is over.”

                Anya stepped forward.

                Lexa held her hand up, stopping her former mentor. “The kill is yours, Clarke.”

                The blonde hesitated before lifting her gun.

                A monstrous roar interrupted them.

                _Oh, fuck_. “Pauna!” Lexa yelled, quickly pulling her sword and slashing behind Quint’s knees, hoping the offering will distract the beast. “Run!”

                They all took off through the forest. The sound of Quint’s screams spurring them to go faster.

                “We need to hide!” Lexa yelled.

                “I found something!” Clarke announced.

                Lexa and Anya found the blond pulling at a round metal grate, easily removing it. They all raced through a short tunnel and Clarke kicked out the grate on the other end. The entered a placed filled with dead animal carcasses.

                “What the hell is this?” Clarke asked.

                “It is its damn feeding ground,” Anya groaned.

                Lexa glared at her friend.

                “Come on, let’s climb up and see if there is a way out of here,” Clarke suggested.

                Lexa happily followed the blonde, if she was going to die, might as well take advantage of life’s simple pleasures while she can. Watching Clarke’s curvy backside as she climbed was one of those simple pleasures.

                Once the three reached the top of the structure, they could see trees being plowed down by the beast, and they all pulled their weapons. Suddenly, it jumped from the forest, easily clearing the wall and landing 10 feet in front of them.

                “Death is not the end,” Lexa said trying to soothe their fear.

                “Fuck that,” Clarke proclaimed and proceeded to shoot the beast.

                It roared and stumbled, falling back down the structure right where they had climbed up.

                Lexa was amazed. Clarke’s fearlessness was… _oh shit it is getting up._ Lexa kept her eyes on the Pauna and settled into a fighting stance.

                “There’s a door down there! Come on!” Clarke yelled.

                Lexa looked behind to see what Clarke was talking about.

                “I’ll go the other way, hopefully it will follow me,” Anya decided.

                Lexa looked at her friend. “What?”

                “Go, Heda!” Anya shouted before letting out a war cry and heading the other direction.

                Lexa saw Clarke had already jumped down from the structure and followed suit. Pain in her ankle caused her to stumble and fall, her shoulder slamming into the wall causing even more pain.

                “Lexa!” Clarke cried out running to her.

                The brunette chuckled, trying to shake off the pain. “Guess you have me falling for you.”

                Clarke’s eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

                “What?” Lexa asked, kicking herself for actually saying that out loud.

                The Pauna roared again right above them.

                They looked up and saw the beast looking at them, Anya’s distraction obviously not working.

                Clarke pulled Lexa up and they headed for the door. The blonde made it through but the Pauna caught Lexa’s foot.

                “Leave me!” the Commander yelled.

                “No!” Clarke yelled back starting to shoot at the beast again making it let go of Lexa and stumble back. Clarke kicked the lever near the door making the metal slam closed. “Where are you injured?” the blonde asked, helping Lexa up and leading her to sit on a table that is in the room.

                “You should have left me Clarke. To be a strong leader you need to make sacrifices, I am not worth your life.”

                Clarke snorted. “You know, where I come from, when someone saves your life you are supposed to say thank you.”

                Lexa grit her teeth as the blonde prodded her injuries. “My spirit would have chosen the next commander wisely.”

                Clarke rolled her eyes. “I prefer your spirit stay right where it is,” she said as she pulled Lexa’s arm.

                Lexa groaned as pain exploded in her shoulder before the pain dulled immensely. She looked questioningly at the blonde.

                “Your shoulder was out of place. I just popped it back in,” Clarke explained as she looked around and found a cloth that she tore and started wrapping around Lexa as a makeshift sling. “That should help for now.”

                The Pauna started banging on larger doors on the other side of the room.

                “It found us!” Lexa yelled standing out.

                Clarke quickly unsheathed the brunette’s sword and slid it through the handles of the door, barring it closed, at least for the moment.

                Lexa was once again amazed at the blonde.

                “We need to be prepared for when it gets in here,” Clarke claimed.

                Lexa nodded. “Don’t be scared, death is not the end, Klark.”

                Clarke looked over at the Commander and walked up to her. “Fuck that, Lexa. We still have life to live now!”

                _Fuck it_. “Maybe you’re right,” Lexa admitted wrapping her hand around the back of Clarke’s neck and kissing her passionately. She almost pulled back when Clarke didn’t react, but then the blonde’s hands reached up to thread her fingers through brown locks and responded with equal fervor.

                The pulled apart when the Pauna roared and slammed into the doors again, causing them to bend in slightly.

 Looking at each other once more, Lexa saw Clarke’s eyes light up with an idea and the blonde looked at the door.

“What if we let it in?” Clarke asked.

“What?” _That sounds like a terrible idea. Was my kiss bad enough that she wanted to get us killed?_

“When it starts pounding against the door again, I pull the sword, it falls into the room and we run out and maybe trap it in here!” Clarke announced.

Lexa’s eyes widened at the genius of the plan. _Maybe I should kiss her again._ The Pauna started hitting the door again. _Right, beast, must deal with beast first._

“Ready?” Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded.

The blonde pulled the sword and the Pauna crashed into the room, stumbling passed them, obviously not prepared for the door to actually open. They ran out of the room and closed the doors behind them. They were in luck when Clarke found a solid metal bar used to keep the door close. She slid it into place and the beast started roaring and pounding on the door again. This time the doors didn’t budge.

Lexa grinned at Clarke.

“Heda!”

They both looked to find Anya running towards them.

Her former mentor clapped her on her injure shoulder, causing her to groan in pain.

“Hey, jackass, she’s hurt,” Clarke admonished Anya.

The general looked at Lexa with concern.

“I’ll be alright. We need to get out of here, just in case it is able to break through the door,” Lexa announced.

The other two nodded and they all ran.

∞∞∞∞

Once they were safely back in TonDC, Lexa sent warriors to end the fight of the trapped Pauna. She allowed some Skaikru to go with them to use their weapons, since they seemed to have more of an effect on the beast. Raven even gave them a couple of more devices that she proclaimed would “Blow that fucker up.” Lexa wasn’t sure what she meant but allowed it.

Anya came into her tent to check on her. “How are you doing?”

Lexa sighed. “They are minor injuries, Clarke took care of the worst one. I will recover quickly.”

The general nodded and smirked. “So how did you respond to Clarke “taking care of you”?” she asked using air quotes.

Lexa rolled her eyes. She knew she shouldn’t say anything, but she was bursting to talk about it. “I kissed her.”

Anya’s eyes widened and then she grinned. “So, tell me about it. Was it like… was it a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, “I gotta have you now” kind of thing?”

“Well, at first, it was really intense, you know. And then we just sort of sunk into it.”

“Okay, so was she holding you, or were her hands on your back?” Anya asked.

Lexa thought back to it. “No actually, first they were… she was surprised, so her hands were by her sides, but then she slid them up and her fingers were in my hair.”

“Oooh!” Anya said excitedly.

∞∞∞∞

Clarke had been telling Raven about everything that had happened. The brunette was happy to provide some grenade type weapons for the warriors to take out the giant gorilla. She could tell there must have been something else that happened as Clarke seemed to be ramping up the story.

“And then Lexa kissed me.”

Raven looked at her in surprise. Who knew the stoic Commander chick could be so soft? “Tongue?”

“No,” Clarke admitted.

Raven rolled her eyes. “Lame. So, what happened next?”

Clarke continued on with their daring escape.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter might not be as amusing as the others, being that it is their introduction to each other. The rest Clexa will be working together more closely and therefore more informally.


End file.
